Between Breaths

Love as Growth

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:14:06 GMT

"KUMPAS NG BUHAY"

Minsa'y sa daloy nang buhay ay parang isang " kumpas". Matiba'y mong panghahawakan ang mga nararapat na salita patungo sa puso at isipan.
Upang ito ay _____________ Malaya mong unawain kung saan at ano ang kahulugan ng bawat galaw, at hayaan mong ang bawa't pusong nais kang akbayan ay ika'y hatulan sa bawat mensaheng nais mong ipaalam, kahit ito'y Masaya o Malungkot man.
Dahil ito ang kumpas ng iyong buhay na siyang nakatakda mong ilaan,at panantilihin ang balanse ng iyong timbangan sa Tama at Mali pa man,dahil ito ang magtutuwid sayo sa tamang panahon at oras
At magdadala naman sa tamang hangarin ng buhay na siyang magdudugtong sa isang tanong at malayang ipapaalam sa iisang sagot.....

It's funny as to how people can claim to love one another while they are so different from one another. Expectations can burn against the skin, and previous experience of love can be a big hindrance to creating a new of loving.

One of the biggest excuses we have as lovers is that we let our past experiences make victims out of us, and we unconsciously or consciously make our painful experiences as a justifiable reason for not keeping up with our agreements. We fail to realize that agreements are part of loving--they concretize into action what we claim to feel.

Forgiveness plays a part when agreements are not met. And forgiveness is not easy because TRUST has been breached. It happens when we keep on doing the same things again and again. And when the transgression is confronted, the other retreats, throws an "i love you" and runs away.

How do you bring back the trust? How do you build back the relationship? First, accept that you have made a mistake. Secondly, don't wait and make the first move. In this way, you are making yourself humble, and you send to your partner a message that you are concerned also with the way he felt. Third, before you leave the issue, make a resolution that you will try not to do the same thing again.

Love is hard. It's not just the way we make people feel good about themselves, it's not about sending cards and romantic messages, it's not about making empty promises, but it is a commitment that you give to the growth of both of you. Whether there is joy or anger, both negative and positive experiences will teach us, and our job is to LEARN from them. If there is no LEARNING, there is no GROWTH.

The Classroom of Silence

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 15:02:43 GMT

I have been a follower of bibliotherapy for the longest time, centering on psychology and spirituality. Few I have felt truly touched the core of the human spirit, apart from those who sugarcoat the human condition with the promise of quick fixes. On the other hand, there are those who write with such rhetoric and syntax, that few people can actually understand, much less, apply what these "masters" are imparting.

Below is a perspective offered by Matthew Kelly in his book, "The Rhythm of Life". I opine that Kelly truly leads the reader to an old place with a new set of eyes. His book was a delight to read, and woke up some slumbering veins in me.

Judge for yourself.

WE LIVE IN A WORLD obsessed with noise. People wake up to clock radios, listen to the news while they shower, watch television while they eat breakfast, tune into the morning radio show on the way to work, listen to music all day over the intercom, and talk incessantly on the phone between any number of meetings�We need to stop the noise.

For six years now I have been traveling and speaking in different parts of the world. After my talks or seminars I usually take some time to visit with the audience. They always have plenty of questions, but the question I am asked the most is, "How did you come to know so much at such a young age?"

When I was nineteen God touched my life in a profound way. It was at that time that I began to seriously pray - and when I first felt God beckoning me into the classroom of silence. Each day I would sit alone in church silently reflecting on my life, the world, Christ, and the Gospels - three, four, five, sometimes six hours a day.

It if from this experience that I believe and have written things such as, "You can learn more in an hour of silence than you can in a year from books," and, "Noise is the mouthpiece of the world. Silence is the mouthpiece of God. It is in the classroom of silence that God bestows his wisdom on men and women."

Everything great in history has arisen from silence - even great noise. Mozart and Beethoven closed themselves off from the world, inhabited silent rooms for days at a time. They did this in order to hear things that no one else could hear, things they themselves would have never heard in the midst of the world - sounds so glorious, and yet, sound that the world would never know if Mozart and Beethoven had not befriended silence.

Silence presents both sides of the Christian challenge. Firstly, silence introduces us to ourselves - our faults, failings, flaws, defects, talents, abilities, and potential. And secondly, silence introduces us to God - greatness, fidelity, and perfection. It is these two discoveries together - self and God - that propose the Christian challenge. Seeing ourselves as we are, and God as He is, we are always challenged to change, to grow, and to become more like God.

Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher, scientist, mathematician, and writer of the seventeenth century wrote, "All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."

A survey was conducted in the U.S. last year in which people were asked to name the ten things they feared the most. The most feared was death. After death - silence - closely followed by public speaking, flying , dogs, and spiders. Why do we fear silence? Why do we avoid silence? Silence introduces us to ourselves - for better and for worse. Silence convicts, suggests, challenges - yes. But silence also consoles, heals, comforts, clears the mind, and gives to the weary heart.

Peace is the fruit of silence.

Try it. I am not suggesting that you spend four, five, or six hours a day in silence. Take ten minutes a day in your church or in a quiet chair at home. Leave the radio off in the car on the way to work or have a television-free evening once a week in the home. Try it. It works.

Once I was home visiting my family and my youngest brother walked into my room late one night with I was sitting silently in my chair with my eyes closed. He said, "What are you doing, Matthew?" I tried to explain as best I could, but I think he thought I was a little strange. Twice a day, everyday, I take time to visit the classroom of silence. It is through the peace I discover in those times that I make sense of the rest of the day. It is during those times of silence that the Spirit empowers me to do my work.

I close my eyes so that I may see things that I could never see with my eyes open, things that would never come to be if I did not close my eyes. I enter the classroom of silence to listen, and there I hear things I could never hear in this noisy world - the murmuring of my heart and soul that lead me to my future.

Let The Women Be Heard!

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 00:02:18 GMT

March is the international month of and for Women.

Below is a letter forwarded to me by my friend, Ace, who resides in Japan with her husband. Hopefully, this letter may already be circulating to Filipinos there.

In the past weeks, the ZTE scandal has rocked the country and I found myself wondering what I could do. I need to do something, yet, I fail to know what it is that would make a difference--something unlike a running train waiting to hit a wall.

Then I read this letter and I was able to relate with the writer. She went by the name of Guada Sol; whether or not this is a real or a pen name is beyond me. The content of her letter told me that there are indeed intelligent and moral upright Filipinos still remaining out there who's idea of heroism isn't only grounded in bringing in the bacon in boxing, basketball, and leaving the country for dollars (not referring to our hardworking OFWs!)

Read on.

To all Filipinos Everywhere:

I used to think that corruption and criminality in the Philippines were caused by poverty. But recent events tell me this isn't true. It is one thing to see people turn into drug addicts, prostitutes, thieves and murderers because of hunger and poverty, but what excuse do these rich, educated people have that could possibly explain their bizarre behavior? And to think I was always so relieved when petty snatchers got caught and locked away in jail because I never fully realized that the big time thieves were out there, making the laws and running our country. Can it get any worse than this?

Every night, I come home and am compelled to turn on my tv to watch the latest turn of events. I am mesmerized by these characters. They are not men. They are caricatures of men - too unreal to be believable and too bad to be real. To see these "honorable" crooks lambast each other, call each one names, look each other in the eye and accuse the other of committing the very same crimes that they themselves are guilty of, is so comical and apalling that I don't know whether to laugh or cry. It is entertainment at its worst!

I have never seen so many criminals roaming around unfettered and looking smug until now. These criminals wear suits and barongs, strut around with the confidence of the rich and famous, inspire fear and awe from the very citizens who voted them to power, bear titles like "Honorable", "Senator", "Justice", "General" and worse, "President". Ironically, these lawless individuals practice law, make our laws, enforce the law. And we wonder why our policemen act the way they do! These are their leaders, and the leaders of this nation � Robin Hoodlum and his band of moneymen. Their motto? "Rob the poor, moderate the greed of the rich."

It makes me wonder where on earth these people came from, and what kind of upbringing they had to make them act the way they do for all the world to see. It makes me wonder what kind of schools they went to, what kind of teachers they had, what kind of environment would produce such creatures who can lie, cheat and steal from an already indebted country and from the impoverished people they had vowed to serve. It makes me wonder what their children and grandchildren think of them, and if they are breeding a whole new generation of improved Filipino crooks and liars with maybe a tad more style but equally negligible conscience. Heaven forbid!

I am an ordinary citizen and taxpayer. I am blessed to have a job that pays for my needs and those of my family's, even though 30% of my earnings go to the nation's coffers. Just like others in my lot, I have complained time and again because our government could not provide enough of the basic services that I expect and deserve. Rutty roads, poor educational system, poor social services, poor health services, poor everything. But I have always thought that was what all third world countries were all about, and my complaints never amounted to anything more.

And then this. Scandalous government deals. Plundering presidents pointing fingers. Senators associated with crooks. Congressmen who accept bribes. Big time lawyers on the side of injustice. De Venecia ratting on his boss only after his interminable term has ended, Enrile inquiring about someone's morality! The already filthy rich Abalos and Arroyo wanting more money than they or their great grandchildren could ever spend in a lifetime. Joker making a joke of his own "pag bad ka, lagot ka!" slogan. Defensor rendered defenseless. Gen. Razon involved in kidnapping. Security men providing anything but a sense of security. And it's all about money, money, money that the average Juan de la Cruz could not even imagine in his dreams. Is it any wonder why our few remaining decent and hardworking citizens are leaving to go work in other countries?

And worst of all, we are once again saddled with a power-hungry president whose addiction has her clinging on to it like barnacle on a rusty ship. "Love (of power) is blind" takes a whole new meaning when PGMA time and again turns a blind eye on her husband's financial deals. And still blinded with all that is happening, she opts to traipse around the world with her cohorts in tow while her country is in shambles.

They say the few stupid ones like me who remain in the Philippines are no longer capable of showing disgust. I don't agree. Many like me feel anger at the brazenness of men we call our leaders, embarrassment to share the same nationality with them, frustration for our nation and helplessness at my own ineffectuality. It is not that I won't make a stand. It is just that I am afraid my actions would only be futile. After all, these monsters are capable of anything. They can hurt me and my family. They already have, though I may not yet feel it.

But I am writing this because I need to do something concrete. I need to let others know that ordinary citizens like me do not remain lukewarm to issues that would later affect me and my children. I want to make it known that there are also Filipinos who dream of something better for the Philippines. I want them to know that my country is not filled with scalawags and crooks in every corner, and that there are citizens left who believe in decency, fairness, a right to speak, a right to voice out ideas, a right to tell the people we have trusted to lead us that they have abused their power and that it is time for them to step down. I refuse to let this country go to hell because it is the only country I call mine and it is my responsibility to make sure I have done what I could for it.

Those of us who do not have the wealth, power or position it needs to battle the evil crime lords in the government can summon the power of good. We can pray. We can do this with our families every night. We can offer petitions every time we celebrate mass. We can ask others to pray, too, including relatives and friends here and overseas. And we can offer sacrifices along with our petitions, just so we get the message to Him of our desperation in ridding our nation of these vermin. After all, they cannot be more powerful than God!

I implore mothers out there to raise your children the best way you can. Do not smother, pamper, or lavish them with too much of the material comforts of life even if you can well afford them. Teach them that there are more important things in this world. I beg all fathers to spend time with their children, to teach them the virtues of hard work, honesty, fair play, sharing, dignity and compassion � right from the sandbox till they are old enough to go on their own. Not just in your homes, but at work, in school, everywhere you go. Be good role models. Be shining examples for your children so they will learn to be responsible adults who will carry and pass on your family name with pride and honor.

I call on educators and teachers � we always underestimate the power of your influence on the minds of our youth. Encourage them to be aware of what is happening in their surroundings. Instill in them a love of their country, inculcate in them the value of perseverance in order to gain real, worthwhile knowledge, help us mold our children into honorable men and women. Encourage our graduates, our best and brightest, to do what they can to lift this country from the mire our traditional politicians have sunk us into. The youth is our future � and it would be largely because of you, our educators, that we will be able to repopulate the seats of power with good leaders, presidents, senators, congressmen, justices, lawmakers, law enforcers and lawful citizens.

I ask all students, young people and young professionals everywhere to look around and get involved in what is happening. Do not let your youth be an excuse for failure to concern yourselves with the harsh realities you see. But neither let this make you cynical, because we need your idealism and fresh perspective just as you need the wisdom of your elders. YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU! Let your voices be heard. Do what you can for this land that gave you your ancestors and your heritage. Use technology and all available resources at hand to spread good. Text meaningful messages to awaken social conscience. Try your best to fight moral decay because I promise you will not regret it when you become parents yourselves. You will look back at your past misdeeds and pray that your children will do better than you did.

Remember that there are a few handful who are capable of running this country. You can join their ranks and make their numbers greater. We are tired of the old trapos. We need brave idealistic leaders who will think of the greater good before anything else. I voted for Atty. Martin Bautista and his team and I sure hope they will run again. Do your utmost to excel in your chosen field. Be good lawyers, civil servants, accountants, computer techs, engineers, doctors, military men so that when you are called to serve in government, you will have credibility and a record that can speak for itself.

For love of this country, for the future of our children, for the many who have sacrificed and died to uphold our rights and ideals, I urge you to do what you can. As ordinary citizens, we can do much more for the Philippines than sit around and let crooks lead us to perdition. We owe ourselves this. And we owe our country even more.

Guada Sol

Articles on Principles of Personal Growth

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 09:25:28 GMT

Creating With Our Word

by David Wolf
July 1, 2006

In the beginning was the word. Just as the supreme creates with his word, we too, as parts of the ultimate source, create our lives with our word. In the Vedic tradition there is a literature called Upadeshamrita, or The Nectar of Instruction. It is a short book, and concludes with a depiction of the most elevated spiritual consciousness. The initial sentence of The Nectar of Instruction describes the importance of controlling words, for anyone interested in spiritual progress.

Throughout the Satvatove programs we have opportunity to be aware of our relationship with our word, and its effect on our life and relationships. Whether or not you've participated in the Foundational Seminar, I ask the readers to go through a process similar to an exercise in that course. Bring to mind a time when someone made an agreement with you, and broke that agreement, and afterwards you saw the person face-to-face. Connect with this experience. Write down two or three words describing what this experience was like. Next, bring to mind a time when someone made a commitment to you, and kept it, and afterwards you saw the person, in-person. Again, connect with this experience, and on a separate list write what that felt like.

Now think of an example when you made an agreement with someone, and you broke it, and afterwards you saw that person, face-to-face. Connect inside, and write a few words describing that experience. Lastly, recall an instance when you made a commitment with someone and fulfilled it. What was that like? Write it down on a separate list.

Typically, the broken agreements lists include experiences and feelings such as hurt, embarrassment, anger, undependable, confused, unclear, devalued, and disappointed. In the agreements-kept column we characteristically find words such as trust, grateful, responsible, fulfilled, secure, clear, respected, and honored. The purpose here is not to moralize about the importance of keeping our promises. It's simply about realizing how our relationship with our word affects our experience of life. When we violate our word, then, based on our experience, as evidenced by the lists we've generated, our confidence and trust in others tends to decrease, and feelings like resentment, distrust, and pain are predominant. And, when we honor our agreements, confidence and trust increases, and we tend to develop an experience and environment of appreciation, affection, and harmony.

Connected with this conversation about the results of our relation with our word, I'd like to offer that there aren't big or small agreements. Consider, for example, that I say, "I'll call you tomorrow," and I don't call you tomorrow. We may think, "Well, it's no big deal." With respect to our relationship, however, will the consequences from the broken agreements list manifest? Probably they will. Probably, at some level, your trust for me will diminish, and our relationship will feel less clean than before.

Certainly, we could think of instances where a person breaks his agreement, and the consequences discussed above perhaps will not be in effect. Suppose you've agreed to be somewhere at 9 AM. You stop on the side of the road and save someone's life, and arrive at your appointment at 10 AM. Did you keep your agreement? No, though perhaps in this exceptional instance the unpleasant consequences usually attending violated commitments will not be in effect, because you served an even higher principle. I assert, though, that the vast majority of the times that we transgress our word, harmful effects materialize. Rarely are our "good stories" for not honoring our agreements actually "good stories", in the sense that our justifications don't negate the adverse, destructive experiences.

Many of us carry in our subconscious an equation that looks like:

Keeping Agreement = Not Keeping Agreement

A Good Story

And this formula has corollaries, such as:

Being on Time = Not Being on Time

A Good Story

It's not that one side of the equation is always greater than the other. Above we cited an example - stopping on the side of the road to save a life - where the "good story" side may actually be weightier. We're claiming that the equation isn't an equality, though usually, more than 99% of the time, respecting our word will create an experience of life and relationship that is much more satisfying than breaching our promise.

To grow entails making challenging commitments and honoring them. If we're not creating commitment in our life, it's likely that we're also not sufficiently stretching ourselves to expand our limits and possibilities. If we do give our agreement, we'll probably find that, despite our best efforts, we sometimes don't follow through. A strategy for handling broken agreements with integrity is also a valuable tool for spiritual transformation and restoring relationships.

A strategy we use in the Satvatove community is the "five As." The five As are 1) acknowledge, 2) accept responsibility, 3) account, 4) apologize, and 5) amend.

"Acknowledge" means to recognize that we have a broken agreement, and to express this to the person whom we transgressed. We're not justifying, or defending, or rationalizing that we haven't broken a commitment. Acknowledgement also consists of empathically understanding the pain, disappointment, loss of trust, and other emotions we have caused by violating our word. Accepting responsibility, the second of the As, denotes realization that I responded in a particular way - or neglected to respond in a particular way - that caused me to not honor my word. I'm not playing the blame game; I'm accepting responsibility, and expressing that to the person to whom I broke a commitment. The third A is Account. Expression of accountability consists of genuinely explaining what happened. "Explanation" does not mean "defense," or "excuse," or "justification." This truthful explanation may sometimes be rewarding, such as the example where we save a life at the expense of keeping our word. More often, though, our explanations may be unflattering, such as explaining, "I spaced-out about our appointment because I was watching television," or "I paid a few bills instead of timely paying my debt."

Apology is the fourth A, and it's important to note that it's fourth, not first. Oftentimes we act like apology is the first and only step in effectively handling a broken agreement. "I'm sorry" can be more about my need to look good, to restore my image, than about sincerely expressing remorse and reinstating the soundness of the relationship. Even more, we can imprudently use "I apologize" as implicit permission to do the same thing again. Without acknowledging what we've done, accepting responsibility and honestly accounting for it, apology can be hollow. Following the first three As, apology is a natural step in managing broken commitments. Amend is the fifth A, and consists of doing what we're able to redress the situation. We may approach the other party for ideas for remedial action.

Through making and keeping agreements we grow and strengthen our relationships. Each of us can identify things we could do, things we should do, to better our lives. My proposal is that before we end our day today we each make a commitment, and keep it. It could be apparently large or small. The significant point is that by creating and fulfilling an agreement, we create a culture of trust, security and optimism.

Blessing from the Lady of the Poor

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 14:52:59 GMT

It was just a matter of time.

Last December, it hit me that in a matter of four months, I will be stepping into the world of the big "four-oh". Having realized this (as if I was previously in a state of perpetual denial), I made a resolution to create a new life for myself.

So what I did was do the most sensible thing as far as I think any well-meaning individual in search for a more meaningful life would do--pray and look for a mentor. Someone who, I had hoped, has the moral ascendency, and yet possesses a non-judgmental disposition; a person who makes a positive and empowering difference in other people's lives as a way of expressing one's faith, and yet, doesn't have any messianic complex of changing the world but having no time for the next door neighbor.

I was praying for someone who would temporarily guide me in my journey in a more up close and personal dimension. And guess what.

I found her.

As if one day it just sprouted from the ground, on my way to work I saw a simple, small establishment open for the public with a tarpulin that invites people to seek for more balance and harmony in their lives through healing and meditation. The place is called, Bilancia--a center for healing and prayer. Outside is the statue of the Virgin Mary and below it, a box to put in petitioned prayers. It also said to try their meditation room..for repose.

Hmmm...interesting. Never thought such a place would exist right across two bars who peddles scantily clad women during nighttime.

I peered in and the small, clean yet busy office greeted me back through a gray-haired woman who smiled at me with gentle eyes.

"Anything I can do for you?"

Smiling sheepishly, I explained through her that I was interested in some of the programs she posted at the tarpulin outside of her center. She ushered me into the meditation room, which was as I had previously hoped, an utterly relaxing atmosphere where you can sense the remaining divinity in this world.

Disarmingly, she engaged me in a conversation that allowed me to share some of my concerns--even some very private ones. I told her that I went through things in my life that needed healing, and that I am also in search for a more meaningful way of living, as well as a spirituality that I can be finally at home with.

"So you would like to go through the whole program?" She asked plainly.

The whole program?

The whole program would mean counselling, oriental healing, therapy, diet and exercise. I blinked hard, my mind a bit disoriented in the sudden fast paced turn of events. For the past years I was consciously or unconsciously desiring for a reclaim of my life, a deepening of my spirituality, a mentor and finally some healing. I have longed to know when it would happen, and for certain times, I have given up on it.

Yet here it is. Right in front of me.

"Yes ma'am," I smiled wryly, "the whole program. If you think that is the best for me, then I believe you."

(continued..)

Looking Ahead

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 13:29:57 GMT

Some good news.

I just came home from a learning session in the new job I landed in as an on-call trainer, and my boss said that she is considering me for lead trainer for the Metrobank coaching workshops.

Naturally I am very excited about it; this is a new chapter in my life, something that I have always been dreaming about. And yet, there are also some nervousness about it. Well, some habits die hard. But I'm working on it.

Wow. I really pray that my training and coaching career get a good start this year.

Thank you Lord, for the opportunity.

The Child in Us

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 08:08:24 GMT

Yesterday, I did something I have not done for the longest time. After a week of buying blessings for the family and loved ones, I decided to buy myself a gift.

A toy.

Imagine that.

I went around Market Market, Serendra, and Bonifacio High Street with my wife and invaded the toy shops. Hobbes and Landes was overwhelmingly impressive with their array of high end toys (imagine a balloon animal that costs 450 bucks!) and soon enough we were back in shorts and ponytails. He he he.

We couldn't wipe out the smile on our faces as we rummaged through the toy sale at Market Market. Surprisingly, my wife found it difficult to pry her hands from a remote controlled car and wondered if she was a boy in her past life, while I set my sights to a group of boxed model kit collections.

I thought about it long and hard. After being involved with a financial group, I have become a bit stingy with the way I handled my money and always put needs over wants. Savings has become a priority and investments short and long term goals. But there I was, holding a toy with both hands as if the parcel will deteriorate the moment I let go of it.

I bit my lip. I can't buy it. I don't really need it.

I sighed. I turned and didn't realized that my wife was already beside me.

"Honey, I'll pay half the damage."

What I felt after buying it was sheer joy. Piece by piece the toy came to life and for the very first time after a long while, I felt I completed something of value. Even the process of construction was almost contemplative, that it could have been a spiritual experience.

Over the top you say. Right.

Some people get a high while writing, doing stocks, scuba diving, looking at nature, working at their bonsai. There's even a brother who prays the rosary while jogging and he says he feels God jogs with him.

Why not while constructing a toy? Because it's not about the toy. It's about the child in us. It's about the original self that is connected to the Higher Being.

"Unless one becomes like a child..."

New Year Awakening

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 06:20:52 GMT

I just came from the hospital. It was found out that my uncle has colon cancer and was admitted yesterday. The whole family was there, including his in-laws. It's stage 4, the doctor said. There will be chemotherapies and the family will go through a difficult stage in their life together.

Not only my uncle, but the whole family will need support.

Frankly, I want to help. But during times like these, words fail me and I find myself supporting by gestures of handshakes and embraces. I just don't know what to say. I was never good at that.

It also gives me an idea of where I stand in the family tree relationships. But that's another story and this is not about me.

I just want to be there and give support in whatever way I can.

We all end there. But it's how we end it that counts the most.

Pay It Forward

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 05:34:12 GMT

A few months ago, I went to Boracay for a convention.

You know how I was able to get there?

A preacher gave me P 2000.00 to help me get to the convention.

Wow. I was dumbfounded when he asked for my account number for the deposit. It was a situation I found myself too shy to accept but even much more shy to refuse. It was a blessing undeserved and the most gracious way of showing gratitude is through acceptance.

After the convention, I ididn't become financially rich. I didn't have multiple streams of income. I didn't have an overflow of downlines. I didn't become a marketing director. But because of that preacher's generosity, I knew that I have a mission to share the financial education I got to those who especially need it.

Whether I close accounts or not.

The more important thing is to educate. Spread the word. Wake people up.

Because if I put money as priority instead of helping people, it will not come.

I'm still struggling with my beliefs about money and helping others. There's a virus belief that needs to be erased as far as prosperity is concerned. But the preacher just gave me money without having vested interests. He didn't want to recruit me, or to earn from my monthly insurance payments. He didn't want anything except that I become more educated and closer to my dreams.

And that is why I share the little financial education that I got to others, without any intention of recruitment or commission. I know it's going to come back to me in ways that only God knows, for He knows how to fill me.

Thanks, Bo.

Thank you, Lord.

Get the Point

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 04:35:37 GMT

Throughout my life, I have been perceived as rather self-absorbed and downright pessimistic. I admit, I have been that in major phases throughout my life, yet in my present stage, I have learned not to make excuses based on psychoanalysis or even developmental psychology.

One more thing: I have learned not to compare life with another's.

Why?

Because when we compare, we say, "Your problems are not as big as his," or "His problems are not as big as yours." Whereas, in life, each of us walk a unique set of footprints and though the grass beneath our feet are the same, our feet feels them differently. In this way, I get to respect not only those who are different from me, but I also get to respect myself.

Oh I am not saying that I have totally gotten out of that self-absorbed rut that people so easily deduce from my seemingly serious and brooding darling personality. As a matter of fact, I need to get into that hole when I lick my wounds brought about by the daily cuts.

But let me tell you what happens when I leave the rut.

I enter the classroom and I completely forget myself and focus on the needs of my college students.

Once in a while I get invited to give talks and facilitate workshops for adults and no matter how exhausted I was during those times, I jump in and give myself to the world.

Those are the good days.

There are instances wherein someone will read through you through your words, or through your works, clothe it in rhetorics, and fashion it in a way that it would appear as a "feedback". Or even a talk or a sharing.

I don't make excuses for who I am. But sometimes it pains me to know that even those who claim to be closest to me did not give themselves a chance to see me out my rut.